I had a bit more sleep last night and so didn't feel as down, but my resolve to be positive was tested with the lowest audience yet. But they were a good if dispersed crowd and no one has more experience of doing a solo show to 50 people or less than me and we had fun, even if some of the crowd were as bamboozled as I was as to why the theatre was so empty when it had been so full for Hitler Moustache and AIOTM (AIOTM). I am a bit bamboozled but hopefully this is just a blip due to bad timing rather than the end of my reign at the middle. Wow, I had some heady moments half way up the showbiz hill if it was.
Hopefully the only way is up from now on. I am extremely pleased with the show itself. If you felt like helping fill up the room then
you know what to do.
They won't keep me down for long. I've been knocked down and got up enough times already. Persistence is all I have.
So to other news - not that much else is going on. I have been cleaning up my already fairly clean act even more. Getting to the gym, no chocolate for 9 days, no booze for 25 weeks, only sleeping with one woman (and only sleeping most of the time!). I am virtually a monk. The 39 year old me would not know what was going on. And without all these vices I realise that there is nothing else to me. Eating too much, getting pissed and shouting at girls was all that was holding me together. Without those things I am nothing but a cipher. If I gave up the internet as well I would literally have nothing to do. I think I am enjoying this cleaner and less depraved lifestyle, but it's hard to know as I used to be so drunk all the time that I don't know what it was like. Now I remember everything. Every boring second.
I like the boringness to be honest. I am 43 after all. It is time to settle down into middle age (you know, just before I exit it into old age). I am interviewing tour managers at the moment and I told one of the applicants tonight how dull my tours are likely to be, compared to some of the rock stars he had been on the road with before. He seemed relieved. It must be hard to do all the proper work and then also have to get off your tits as well. I love my job so much that I would be happy to do it for nothing (which might turn out to be the case on this tour), but it's actually more fun when I can concentrate on the show and not be looking forward to what happens later in the night. And having a tour manager is going to give me even more opportunity to concentrate on the two hours of the gig and not have to worry about lugging and driving. Ooops, back talking about the show. But I realise I am actually looking forward to it rather than dreading it today. It's terrifying to contemplate the 75 or so gigs that I still have to do at this point, but I am going to give my all at all of them - and if I could do it tonight I can do it anywhere.
I have been watching the first few episodes of
"It's Garry Shandling's Show" on DVD. I vaguely remember seeing it the first time round (in the mid-80s) and am a massive fan of Shandling's follow up show "The Larry Sanders Show" (which is probably the greatest sitcom ever). I had enjoyed it the first time round and recalled that it was pretty post-modern with the fourth wall being broken and general dicking around, but was worried that it might be one of those shows that fares better in the imagination. But although it's a little stodgy in places it is actually even better than I remember. I really enjoyed it and have
the catchy theme tune in my head now to such an extent that I wonder if it will ever go.
It's a show that is way ahead of its time, but its influence on comedy is clear, whether it be the obvious like "Sean's Show" or even stuff like "Seinfeld". I am delighted to see just how many series there were and I am looking forward to watching the whole lot - and also all of Larry Sanders again. Plus the hospital manager from early Diagnosis Murder is in it. So you literally can't lose.
