Ah 5/11 arrives again, the annual celebration of the our conuntry's hatred of Catholics. How I love it. I wish there was a day set aside for the persecution of every religion, where for one day only effigies of famous religious people were burned and fireworks were fired into the eyes of innocent children of any denomination. It must be comforting for Guy Fawkes to know that although he failed to kill any of the 300 nobles in the Palace of Westminster, many more than that number have been killed and maimed on the day set aside to celebrate his failure, making him surely the greatest serial killer and maimer who has ever lived. Especially impressive as he claimed his victims from beyond the grave.
Anyway, hopefully one day our country will one day be liberal enough for us to demonstrate our hatred of all religions on an annual basis, but for the moment only the Catholics are picked out. I feel like writing to the Daily Mail and saying, "I wonder if firework organisers would consider having a similar festival but inciting dissent against the Muslim faith. I rather suspect they would not. It is political correctness gone mad." I even have two proposed dates for such a festival 11/9 or 7/7 would both be good or maybe to keep in with the theme of failure 21/7 might be a better. We could burn effigies of those two blokes in their pants and have loads of fireworks that looked impressive but failed to go off. It's just an idea.
Presumably if this new legislation about reciting religious hatred goes through in the end then we will have to put an end to bonfire night. That would be a shame. Think of all the children who would live their lives unburned and unblinded if we did. I hate the government. I think I might try and blow them up one of these fine days.
