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Now her grotesque, festering umbilical cord stump has fallen off, Phoebe was able to have her first bath. Although if you saw her in the little tub that operates as her washroom you might think we were making a baby cake. I was all ready for her to scream the roof down on being submerged for the first time, it was a baptism of water for her, but she took to it like a nonchalant duck. At last I have found a use for my tiny hands. They are perfect for washing a baby. It’s lovely to be here for all her firsts, I’ve only been separated for hours at the moment and have thus far kissed her every day of her life. So it’s going to be a tug to go away for the night tomorrow. Unless I speed back from my gig in Cheddar before midnight then she won’t get a kiss on Monday. If she learns to talk or walk over the weekend I will be really pissed off.
I don’t really understand why babies are seen as a woman’s thing. They are the perfect plaything for the immature man about town. Not only are they a living fart machine, but they also poo and wee everywhere and after you’ve fed them you are supposed to burp them. And they do really brilliant loud burps. And they don’t get into trouble for them. They get praised. It’s endless puerile fun. Tonight when I got in from my gig I gave Phoebe a bottle of milk (she’s still obsessed with it) and then I burped her and she did a huge belch, which made me laugh and then I laughed even more because she’d followed through and thrown up the entire contents of her stomach over my shoulder, chest and underwear. I was covered in sick. I expect some people would find that annoying (and it was certainly ungrateful) but it really made me laugh. Seemingly I can forgive this girl anything. Whatever she does she just pulls a face as if it’s just the most normal thing in the world. The way she looks at me makes me suspect she understands everything that is happening and that she’s already cleverer than me (or thinks she is). She’s going to save the world, so you should all be glad she’s here. And if not she’s great at pulling faces so I think she can join the family business if being the new Jesus doesn’t work out for her.
But I am still winning the battle of the test of patience. She hasn’t done anything to phase me yet and I’ve found it all funny. She’ll have to do better than vomiting all over me if she wants to make me annoyed.
A nice easy jaunt over to Aylesbury tonight to perform to a terrific audience of just over 100 people (just enough!). I was excited and frustrated because the Addams Family pinball game is now out on Pinball Arcade and as I contributed to the kickstarter I am owed a free copy. I have never been as excited about anything and this is definitely the best day of my life. Or it should have been, but it didn’t show up in my account. When I got home I was able to play a little bit on the free version, but I will have to wait for this to be sorted out before I can give the rest of my life to the game. Or just buy it anyway, which I will probably do. It’s probably lucky that I didn’t manage to sort it out tonight or I might not have gone back for the second half for the show.
For the moment being without a tour manager is proving to be OK. I am enjoying the driving, though less keen about the humping all the gear around, but somehow not too tired as yet, though tomorrow’s drive to Exeter will be more of a challenge. Still some tickets left, but a big crowd in so really looking forward to it. The West Country gigs are always special.
