I thought I was bulletproof this Edinburgh. I felt content and relaxed and everything has been going so well that I didn't think anything would get me down and I would get through the whole Fringe without one of those blue days where I want to throw myself off a bridge or at least go and get a worthwhile job, helping orphans in Africa or somesuch. And there had been no indication that today would be the day where I went off the rails. I have been very tired and a little bit stressed, but thought I had things in control.
But it was another early start (I keep waking up at 8) and I hadn't slept too well and my girlfriend had slept even worse. But I was still relatively bright eyed and bushy tailed. I had my porridge and wrote my blog and then knocked out a short article for the Independent and was looking forward to going to the gym and getting some work done on the Radio 4 show.
But after lunch I took a bit of a dip, which might not be altogether surprising and though I got as far as the gym I realised I was too tired to actually do a work out and instead stupidly googled myself to see what people were saying about the show. It was mainly positive, but with some dissent and I had another review, this time from the List who have been quite nice about me in recent years, but
were disappointed with this one. I had thought that I could cope with bad/mediocre reviews this year, but I was clearly in a sensitive state as it riled me somewhat. I had been on a bit of high (explaining my hubris at being disappointed with the 4 star review yesterday and saying that is what I always got!) and the show has gone so well in pre-Edinburgh preview that I suppose I was hoping (and possibly assuming) everyone would like it.
I had anticipated both that some journos would use the fact that this was an old show to criticise it and that some people would be upset that it was a very different style to Hitler Moustache. It's hard to follow up a successful show and Brian in the List is obviously hankering for last year. But that's what I do. I like to try to do a different kind of thing every year. But I was more upset that I was upset. But I was tired and emotional (and not because I had been drinking) and was subdued and tetchy. I like to get the journos in early to Fringe shows, so that I get reviewed early, but perhaps this year that was a slight mistake as it's taken me a little while to get used to the space and to get the show down to the requisite length. Going up half an hour late for the first two nights probably didn't help.
I was over-reacting enormously to one bad review, especially as I had also had a good one. I dragged myself to the Assembly Rooms, arriving a little late and not in the best of moods, but actually managed to pull myself together and delivered a confident and well-paced show, which was the right length and which I didn't have to speed stuff up to fit it all in. My confidence was restored and it was a reminder that reviews are just opinions, whether good or bad. It says something for my mental state at the moment that I felt battered by it. If nothing else it's good publicity for the DVD release!
And I was energised by the performance and reaction tonight and didn't go straight home to bed, but stayed to watch "Gutted" in the venue after me. It's my first show of the Fringe (and I don't think I will be seeing many) and I enjoyed it very much. It's ramshackle and ridiculous and beset a little by technical issues at the moment, but that is only because it is an ambitious project, involving actors, musicians and all kinds of theatrical tricks and techniques. It's very funny and there are terrific performances from everyone and as long as you get into the spirit of it you will have a lot of fun. A group of young students did not get into the spirit however and talked all the way through the show and then drunkenly and arrogantly hung around outside the auditorium loudly pontificating on why they hadn't enjoyed a show, that to be fair they had scarcely watched. Another audience member actually dared to go and challenge them and tell them how rude they had been and were being. If they hadn't enjoyed it they could have left or at least gone somewhere else to voice their criticisms, but they were showing off to each other, and thought that strangers might be interested too. But they had clearly decided they weren't going to enjoy it and I imagine might have been from some rival production. They all had "individual" haircuts and one of the girls was wearing a bikini top. They thought they were quite the bohemians. But they just looked like a load of horrible, nasty twats. The fact that not one of them dissented from the party line that the show had been unremittingly awful made their pose all the more ridiculous. Because not one of them had had the wit to understand why it might be actually good, or that some of the things they didn't like were deliberate choices. Just goes to remind you that you can't please everyone and that a lot of people who criticise stuff are full of shit.
They actually just reminded me of how I must have been as a student, over confident, desperate to express surprising opinions, arrogant and unpleasant. I am sure me and my friends may have stood around poo-pooing anything basically that didn't feature ourselves. Whilst Gutted has room to improve (mainly in terms of the technical side of things - due to the microphones you couldn't hear everything) it's a noble and enjoyable venture and a big leap forward for Ward and White who have been working up shows like this for a few years now. And even Michael Legge is funny in it, so the script must be amazing. It is frankly astonishing that someone has come to Edinburgh and put on a brand new full scale musical. If you're coming to see my show, why not stay to see theirs too. It's got old JimBob off of the Waltons (or possibly Carter USM, I can never remember) in it too.
It's definitely the best show I have seen this Fringe.
I got home to find another slightly disappointing 3 star review
from the Independent, which slightly took the wind out of my sales, but not to the same extent as earlier. But it's from Julian Hall who readers of Stewart's book will be familiar with and I might have to start agreeing with Lee's views on him after this. He did see the first show, which might have been a bit shaky, but to be so dismissive about the genealogy routine, which is the only thing I have ever written that makes people laugh so much they are in pain, does make me wonder about his credentials!
So hopefully that's my Edinburgh blues done with for this year.
Oh and by the way, the low SCOPE collection count at the weekend may have been down to inefficient bucket wielding. Some of you complained that there was no one there to collect as you exited, but do remember, you can make a donation, however small, via
my justgiving site. If you say which day you came I will update the totals! Tonight's audience gave the most yet - £254.71 + 2 czech koruna,10 canadian cents + 1 unidentified middle eastern coin! That's the score to beat. Thanks for your generosity.
