My curtains have finally arrived. Slightly annoyingly I am not allowed to close them for two days, which rather dents the initial excitement of finally having curtains.
The taste of curtains is worse than none at all.
The men who fitted my curtains initially failed to inform me of this. When they came back yesterday to finish the job one of them said to me, laughing "You've closed your curtains. You're not meant to close your curtains for two days. Otherwise you'll lose your pleating."
He said this as if it was something that I should know. But I didn't know that. Being a man I have no interest in curtains, beyond the fact that they keep our light when I am asleep and mean I can dance naked in my living room if I want (I don't want to, but it's nice to know that I can if I want).
But the man said this as if I was an idiot for not knowing that, as if I'd made some kind of childish mistake in thinking my curtains would operate (even though when they had arrived, knowing they were going to take two days, I had asked them to do the bedroom first so I would be able to sleep in past sunrise).
I would argue that it was really their mistake not to have told me not to close the curtains. I was out when they had left the day before, but they could easily have left a note. I objected to him laughing at me and telling me off for what I consider to be his mistake.
It's not important. He just tied them up again. And he was actually quite a nice and efficient bloke.
But he should have told me. Why didn't he tell me? Why?
Tomorrow I will be able to close my curtains again. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. My curtain nightmare is nearly over.
Except that the two curtains I did close both had faults in them, so another man is going to come round soon and have a look.
Doubtless he will blame me for looking at the curtains with my eyes before they were ready to be looked at.
Everyone knows you can't do that.
