In the past couple of days I have had my attention drawn to an article in a local newspaper called the Herald, which is published (I'm guessing) in Harlow. I was told that in this article I had apparently praised the Harlow Playhouse and given it credit for helping me learn my stage-craft in the 1980s.
Now when I'm on tour I do a lot of interviews with local papers (I can't see how they are of any use incidentally, but at least it helps keep PR people and local newspaper journalists in work), so I wondered if I had made some comment in one of these interviews that had been taken out of context. It seemed unlikely though as Harlow and its Playhouse have had very little influence upon my life.
Today Gee from the notbbc forum (who originally praised me for my dedication to his local theatre after reading "my" comments) sent me the article in question.
There was a smiling picture of me at the top and this is what they had attributed to me,
""THEY TAUGHT ME MY VITAL STAGE CRAFT" SAYS RICHARD HERRING
The Playhouse is now MORE cost effective than it has ever been.
In 1992 the theatre received a grant from Harlow District council of £483,000 (closer to £638,000 if we allow for inflation). I believe that to be almost twice the sum that the theatre currently needs to operate.
The Playhouse has developed a good reputation nationally over the last few years and is an asset and therefore a credit to the town.
The proposed budget cut of £100,000 is simply unrealistic. It is impossible to provide a service such as a theatre on that kind of money.
The staff of the building work extremely hard and do not earn a king's ransom doing it. To suggest that volunteers or casual shift workers could replace them is simply unrealistic. Having worked professionally in TV and theatre for the last 18 years, I have NEVER come across an operation as large as the Playhouse that can function efficiently and, more importantly, SAFELY on this basis.
I owe a great deal to the Playhouse. I attended a youth theatre there in the 1980s, I learned most of my basic stagecraft in its two performance areas. It gave me confidence and taught me how a working, professional theatre operates. Using the knowledge and experience gained there I am able have an ongoing career in the entertainment industry as a performer and writer.
I truly believe that it is because of opportunities offered to up-and-coming talent in Harlow by the Playhouse and their working partnerships that there are people appearing tonight in the West End in "My Fair Lady", "The Lion King" and "Chicago", attending drama and dance schools up and down the country and working as theatre technicians around the world.
Here's a few numbers to consider. Inthe period April 2002-April 2003 65,459 people attended a performance at the Playhouse. If you add to that the number of people who used the building for a dance of drama class (Makin steps school, one of four major local dance schools that regularly use the building have a membership of over 500 young people), a social group meeting, performed in a show, participated in a training workshop, awards ceremony, school visit or tour, attended a conference, or just went for a cup of coffee, you have well over 100,000 people using this service. I think it's worth keeping.
I'll close with these two figures. 12,909 people came to see the community pantomime "Dick Whittington" last Christmas. That's only 1,051 fewer than voted in the last local election (13,960).
I'll hold up my hands to the fact that a large number of the audience at Christmas were under 10. But I like to think that when they are old enough to vote, they will be able to bring their children to see a show at their local theatre."
Now, my memory might not be all that it was, but I think I would remember having said that to a journalist, mainly because it included a huge amount of facts that I couldn't possibly know or bw interested in.
Sensing a press scandal of a magnitude of that bloke who wrote about major world events for the New York Times without leaving his office, I decided to contact the Harlow Herald and blow this conspiracy wide open.
The fact that I was quite drunk when I wrote the email probably didn't help matters. Computers should come with breath testers to stop you responding to emails etc when you're pissed.
Here's what I said,
"Dear Sir or Madam
I have been emailed an article from your paper that apparently purports to be written by me (or at the very least quotes me, but in such a way that one would have to conclude that I have written the whole article.
Much as I love the Harlow Playhouse I dont believe I have ever voiced much of an opinion about it. If I have said something in a separate interview then it couldnt possibly include much of the info in the piece because until I read it I was certainly not aware of it. For example I wouldnt have claimed to have learnt my stage craft at the Harlow Playhouse in the 1980s, largely because I never performed or visited it in that decade. At most I may have said that my stage craft is ever improving thanks to regular performances (and I think Ive performed at the Playhouse a couple of times) but that is not what the article says.
In fact it very much looks like I wrote the whole thing as it doesnt actually quote me anywhere but in the title.
I would be interested how this article came about and how you feel justified in making all this stuff up.
I support all local theatre and would happily be quoted saying that, but do not believe I said anything reported in your paper this week.
Please provide me with an explanation asap.
Richard Herring"
Let's see if the mystery is explained, or, as I hope that I will be able to sue the newspaper and the Harlow Playhouse and become their new owner. At which point I will have both buildings destroyed and the bricks rebuilt into a sculpture of my laughing face. With rockets that come out of the eyes and destroy local Harlow landmarks (are there any?) at random.
Either that or I get an apology.