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I met Alex Salmond once, or at least sat in the same TV studio as him. I remember being quite impressed with how funny and smart he was, but not much more than that. Luckily I have Warming Up to stand in for my utterly failing memory.
It was nine years ago. It turned out, not unlike many politicians, men and indeed humans, he was a more controversial figure than I realised, not that many of the tributes to him are concentrating on that (that's social media's job) and he seems to be being exalted as a heavyweight politician by all the same papers that basically called him a dick (for his politics rather than his personal choices). I suppose the day after someone's death is not really the time to do anything but look at the positive, but as always it seems arse about tit that we're rude about people in life and nice about them in death.
I've found when I've met politicians, even those that I don't agree with at all, that they are generally speaking very intelligent and charming people (the only one who was not was Nigel Farage, who I didn't speak to, but who exuded menace - perhaps imagined by me, but he made me feel queasy and sad and it was strange to find myself walking behind him alone in a dark corridor after midnight). All I remember about that TV recording was that Salmond coped with the unpleasant questions from the host with wit and charm and I thought about trying to get him on RHLSTP. Whatever he'd done in his life, he wouldn't be the worst person we'd had on.
I was though unsettled about being on that show at all (similarly to the one I was on with Farage, which might have been OK had Farage not been on it, but I did not feel at home). It was an unbroadcast pilot episode for a channel called Russia Today and when I took the gig I had no idea what that was. I can't remember if I'd realised by the time we were filming or shortly afterwards. Neither I or the other comedian they had on felt comfortable with what was happening or the tone of the show or, when we realised what we'd stepped into, the whole ethos of the channel. Neither of us returned to appear in the series. Sometimes with this job it's hard to know what you're getting into and you take jobs that you regret. There haven't been many for me, this Russia Today one is the worst (and thankfully never got put out) and the other one that springs to mind was the Best Man's Speech programme that seemed to me like it might be a fun way to teach non-comedians how to do funny speeches, but was just a load of stupid half-thought out stunts that made no sense. I think fewer people saw that show (even though it did go out on TV somewhere) than the Russia Today pilot. My objections to Best Man's Speech were just artistic (I don't think anyone involved was thinking about making great telly and I was mainly there for the decent pay cheque, though would have liked to have been some actual help with the wedding speeches, but didn't get much opportunity), so the Russia Today debacle was more upsetting and wrong as it implied so kind of endorsement of the channel. Increasingly this is an issue for comedians. Is it good to get TV exposure regardless of the people booking you? Should you embrace a political position that you possibly don't share in order to get work?
I don't remember going to one of the actual weddings and
don't remember having to do two phone calls with the other best man, ahead of his actual speech, one bad, one good so they could use the one that was most apt. Absolutely shocking, both that it happened and that I wrote about it so brazenly - no wonder I don't get on TV much. The only comfort I can take is that apparently one of the best men said my advice (off-camera I imagine) had been helpful. I try to persuade myself at the time that it was a good thing to have done. But it wasn't. And the only saving grace is that I have never met anyone who has seen it. And I did really need the money, though wasted it all on Flumps.
So anyway, I have been in the same room as Alex Salmond. He was smart and funny, and seemed OK for a politician, but that doesn't mean he was. Or that he wasn't.
Either way his problems are over and he doesn't have to worry about anything any more, whilst I still don't know how I am going to get the feet on my sofa. So who is the real winner here?
