7746/20687
Family trip to France in the Easter holidays, including two nights at Disneyland, which was all booked this afternoon. I put it on the credit card, so I will be sucking cocks behind the bus station for the next month in the hope of being able to pay it off. If I get £10 for each cock then I only need to suck about 10,000 cocks to pay this off. (seriously this place makes Centerparcs look reasonably priced). Which sounds like a lot of people, but remember I can suck one cock more than once, so with returning customers I should be OK. Knowing my luck it will all be men in their fifties who can only manage one a day and have weird wrinkly, hairy cocks. But my kids are all that matter to me. And taking them to Paris to go to an overcrowded resort where we will all be bickering, crying, queueing and eating horrible food will be good for them.
Good news though if you're going to Eurodisney with your family. For just over £500 a day you can jump all the queues. That isn't a misprint. It's really that cheap. I mean if loads of people do that then I guess you'll still have to queue, but I suppose the chances of loads of people doing that is small. Even if I could afford that I would feel too shitty walking past everyone else and them knowing that I was the kind of cunt who would spend that much money to prove that I was that kind of cunt. We'll queue. We'll cry. We'll bicker. Along with the other people who have still paid enough money to show that they are still a bit of a cunt. I can't wait until Walt Disney's head gets to hear about this. He'll be furious knowing what's going on in his name. He seemed like such a nice guy.
And remember for that £500 extra also entitles to you to as many blow jobs from Donald Duck as you can manage in a day. If I could manage more than one a day I'd be all over that.
At the very least we should get some entertaining blogs. Sadly after 22 years of doing this shit I have failed to find a way to monetize it. I'd suggest Disney pay for my stay because I am an influencer and writing about their resort giving them some much needed publicity. But I've just blown that (like Donald Duck blowing a millionaire) and also they're well aware that my poverty stricken readership only have bus station blow job money, not DDBJ money.
I was haemorrhaging cash today as I had to pay a tax bill and also go to the bank to do a mind boggling transfer of funds. As I waited to be seen an older lady came up to me and said she didn't usually talk to strangers but that she wanted me to know that she thought I was still funny (which has a bit of an edge to it, doesn't it?). She said she loved me on a show she called something like "So You Think You're Dead Now" and I didn't have the heart to say that I didn't think that was me (or that that was a show), but you have to take your compliments where you can get them at my age. Afterwards I thought maybe she meant "You're Dead To Me" so perhaps I had deserved the accolades after all (and I was still quite funny on that show).
Anyway, hope that review is enough to persuade you to come and see one or both of my tours. And to come to the bus station afterwards. Cash only. I don't pay tax on my BJ money. If I did I'd be in even worse trouble now.
