Warming Up

I have no confidence in any of the cunts.

The slow grind to an utterly predictable fuck up (though sadly what will happen in the end is still up in the air) continues. But it’s hitting the wall of reality and there’s nowhere to go now. 

No one was more in favour of Hard Brexit than me (I actually changed my name to Ric Hard Herring), but sadly not everyone has the resolve to pull our country to pieces and hope we can put it together again like a massive jigsaw that takes 50 years to complete.

So I have slightly adapted my position. Is it possible to go even more into the EU so we actually have no UK government at all? Cos I’m voting for that. #hardremain We just do whatever Europe tells us to and eat whatever shaped bananas they foist on to us and have to have passports that have Jean-Claude Juncker’s laughing face on them. It will still be better than being led by the idiots who have got us into this mess. We will not only take the euro, but just have to throw away all the pounds we currently have and start again and from 30th March, everyone in the country has to speak Esperanto and anyone speaking English will be executed. We have to remain. But we have to make it hard. So hard that it hurts. 

Some people have called me a flip-flopper for going from Hard Brexit to Hard Remain, but I would counter and say that I have been hard throughout this entire process. Just like Nigel Farage. And I was so Hard Brexit that it went all the way round past infinity and touched hard remain, so it’s actually the exact same position.

Everyone’s doing that 10 year photo thing for some reason, and recent entries have looked back at the rapid decay of my body, so I thought I’d see what I was up to in 2019. This is me then and now. There seems to be something different, but I can’t quite put my finger on it…. If only I’d known that in one short decade that 2009 would be right in vogue. I am ahead of my time. Or 70 years behind. I can never quite remember.

I think I’ve worked out the difference. In the last ten years I have moved slightly closer to the camera. To be honest I am just delighted that I am still here. Here's to adding another photo in 2029. If I am not still here can someone put a picutre of me not being there next to the other two for comparison?

The first three London RHLSTPs are selling really well and the 18th Feb looks likely to win the race to sell out, but 11th Feb is heading that way too. I have booked some more guests and will let you know who on Friday (though Badgers and Dripsters will hear the news first). But worth booking for those other dates if you want to sit near the front. 

Thanks as always for your support this year. We’re making some changes this year, not just taking the show on the road, which I think might lead to all sorts of exciting new possibilities.