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My daughter came up with her first stand-up bit today. I am not sure it would work at the late show at the Comedy Store, but it might be get a room full of three year olds laughing (perhaps not as much as her catchphrase of poo - or her satirical take down of ten in a bed, which she sings all the way through but has the little one doing a poo poo instead of rolling over - it’s pretty funny). Actually I tell a lie, earlier in the week she started asking questions about “Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” which were not entirely dissimilar to the routine I did about this song…
Anyway we’ve been watching Super Monsters on Netflix - if you haven’t seen it, you probably won’t enjoy her observation too much. I am guessing it comes from the same stable as the phenomenon that is PJ Masks as both shows have a bit in it where the character it introduced and then shouts their name at the end. In Super Monsters it happens twice, when the children turn into monsters and when the monsters turn back into children. Today as they introduced themselves in yet another episode, Phoebe turned to me and said, “Why to they keep saying them name? We know who they are.” She just needed to add,. “What’s that all about?” And then at it out. “Drax… I know mate, you’re said….” etc
It’s a very good point and a take down of this show. “And in PJ Masks,” she observed. Now every time that bit happens we look at each other and she says, “Why do they keep saying them name?” And I am incredulous and say, “We know what they’re called. What’s wrong with them?”
She’s good.
Personally I am just disappointed that I got married before I saw Esme, the monster’s teaching assistant. This is another step towards delusion to me, as Esme is a cartoon. At least with a puppet there is something tangible to have a sexual obsession with, but how would I and a cartoon every interact. Would she become a human? In which case her huge eyes and strange proportions would surely be too much or would I become a cartoon? And would she be interested in a 51 year old father of two? It throws up all kinds of problems, but Esme is the most wonderful woman I have ever seen. Until Dr Jekylll turns up and turns out to be a beautiful woman. Also Cleo’s mum is pretty hot.
I am only interested in adult cartoon characters. I am not sick.
I think Esme is an adult, but suddenly I worried she might not be. I actually googled her to check that I wasn’t committing some kind of cartoon crime. But all I have found out is that the actress who does her voice is 27, so I feel that I can’t be arrested by the cartoon police. The actress who plays her looks nice too, but I am not prepared to give up my wife and family for a human. I would risk it all for a cartoon though, but only if we could find some way to interact.
Where is all this heading? Will I fall in love with a smell or a character in a dream that was dreamed by someone else and merely described to me? As we get older do our sexual tastes head ever more into the abstract? I don’t know. But if you’re somehow reading this Esme, despite being made of ones and zeros and not even being a real picture, then do get in touch and lets see how we can make this happen.
