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When I last got new glasses I spent a stupid amount of money on getting a couple of nice pairs (I think there was a deal) that were the same design. After about two months I lost one pair. I didn’t think I’d left them somewhere out and about, but I couldn’t find them anywhere in the house. I searched for them several times, thinking they might have fallen in a box during a live stream or down the side of a chair, or maybe I’d left them on a mantelpiece and they’d got hidden somewhere. It was a weird mystery. Luckily I managed to not lose the other pair (for more than a few minutes) by usually keeping them on top of my head, but I was still annoyed that I’d lost the others. This is why I shouldn’t have nice things.
Yesterday I came into the bedroom to see a pair of glasses on my tiny bed side table. I assumed they were the cheap pair I had bought to leave around the house for emergencies (where I’d lost the expensive pair) but then I saw that that pair was there too. I picked up the new pair and thought it looked a lot like the lost pair. I compared it to the pair on my head and indeed it was. But how? Had the glasses been there for the last year and I just hadn’t spotted them? It seemed unlikely as the bedside “table” is a tiny attachment on the bed frame of about 25cm square. But it says something that I considered it.
I was at a loss about this seeming magic and asked my wife about it and she wasn’t sure how they’d got there. What? But she said she’d been making the bed and something had flipped out of the bed frame - though she thought it had gone on the floor. Presumably my glasses had been down the side of the bed all this time. But I not only thought I’d looked there, but the bedsheets have been changed once a week over all those many months, so how did the glasses not appear in all that time. It was super weird. But then I had my glasses back. I can’t wait for the next time I lose them.
And this incident provided a lame emergency question for tonight’s RHLSTP. It was a cracking line up of newer comedians (ie ones that had only been going ten to fifteen years) but both at the top of their game: Eleanor Morton and Pierre Novellie. Sadly audience numbers were a bit low - we still haven’t got back to the pre-covid situation where big names would immediately sell out and less famous people would still sell around a couple of hundred. With two line-ups this month having already sold out I can’t complain, though they are both basically double headers and in an ideal world those bigger names would have been shared around. But sadly we haven’t yet got to a point where I have the powers to insist people appear on the show at a time of my choosing.
Having written that blog about Oh Jesus I Have Promised I was starting to wonder if I might be able to do a weird one hour stand up show on the subject, but when I quizzed the small audience about the hymn it turned out that only a couple of them had heard of it. So it might not be the pathway to the mainstream that I had been hoping for. A vicar (I later found out) in the front row pointed out that the words to the hymn fitted with the Muppet theme, which was true and funny, but more or less put to bed my plan to ask my guests what tuen they would choose for the lyrics. Eleanor had also not heard of the hymn. Back to the old drawing board.
Good to be back and to see the crew again. I expressed my disgruntlement about being tricked into going church and on the way home God showed their displeasure by sending rain and lightening to show me the error of my ways.
Sorry God. I believe in you. Please don’t kill me yet.
