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Monday 31st May 2004

CNPS numbers spotted 2 (778) Phew!

Will this dating madness never end? Over five weeks of constant socialising and still two weeks to go. I was tired today, but slightly bouyed up by last night's gig not having been a total fiasco.
The hardest thing now is to think of something different to do on the dates. Luckily today being a bank holiday it meant I could do another day-time activity. I decided upon waking (maybe having come up with the idea in a dream) that I would take 36 to the Tower of London. Both romantic and a warning. After all this is where Henry VIII had his second wife Anne Boleyn beheaded for messing him about(probably the other one he killed as well - can't remember, but it's a fair bet her name was Catherine). As far as I know Henry didn't have the idea of making a singing choir out of the skulls of his wives. They could have sung Greensleeves and then he would have got something back on the royalties too (but does royalty get royalties?). Henry VIII was an idiot and he missed a great opportunity.
Of course, being Bank Holiday the Tower was pretty packed. 36 and me went to see the Crown Jewels first and tried to estimate how much we thought it might cost to buy the State Crown. And whether anyone could actually afford to buy it. I thought it would probably be too expensive to ever sell, though 36 thought that George W Bush might be able to afford it. I thought that if he wanted it, he would be more likely just to organise some kind of invasion of the country, so that he could just steal it. I think it would be worth him doing it. He would look really cool wearing a crown on the telly. Though his actions might damage the current US/UK special relationship. It would be interesting to see if those actions would be enough to tip Blair away from his current supportive attitude. I think he might still be on side despite this.
It's kind of sickening to see so much wealth all in one place, and although it is our heritage and all that I can't help wonder if we might be better off building hospitals and helping the poor and giving tramps a life-time's supply of cocktails instead fo having these gaudy crowns and gigantic golden punch bowls.
I suppose it generates money through tourism (money that mainly goes to the Queen I am guessing though), but I am sure we could flog off a couple of maces or something and no-one would really miss them.
I'd quite like a mace myself, you know, just for holding when I'm sitting at home watching telly or whatever. I'd pay up to £200 for one of the older ones. I wouldn't expect to get a new one so cheaply, but the maces are all second-hand and have George III's clammy finger-prints all over them.
36 seemed quite fascinated by the tortures and the weapons and said she'd like to see more about the executions and the gory stuff. I got a bit scared by her fascination with beheading and made a mental note not to see this blood-thirsty lunatic again. Knowing my luck 36 will be first out of the lottery machine.



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