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We drove up to Lochranza to visit the ruin by the inlet, which I remember from my previous visits, or at least because it features in a painting done by my grandad. It took an hour to get up there so it was a bit disappointing to discover that the ruined building was closed due to danger of falling masonry. But we looked at it from outside. There was no swing there now either.
We spotted another ruined house and went to have a look and it was an old building where they’d used to treat ropes and fishing nets with bark (somehow), but now it had no roof and the floor had collapsed and it was boarded up and full of brambles and we couldn’t go in that either. But you could climb some steps and look into it. So we did that.
But the scenery at the north end of the island is stunning and we stopped off at the distillery, where tours were all booked up, but we bought some stuff in the gift shop anyway.
Back down the island afterwards and after lunch we decided to look at Brodick Castle, which might sound like a place where all the Bros have fun, but is in fact a slightly ugly edifice that used to be owned by horrible aristocrats, one of whom had gambled most of their fortune away. Usually I like looking round historic buildings, but this place has an odd feel to it. It may be that the hallway and staircase is lined with the heads of dozens of stag heads. I don’t like these at the best of times, but having so many gives a real serial killer vibe and makes you wonder who thought it was a good idea to kill stags, let alone display their heads on walls. Also there were unpleasant artefacts with seriously awful racial connotations. Signs said that these were displayed so as not to hide away the unpalatable history of the place, but I am not sure you’d lose much by not displaying them. If you did anything this insensitive under the umbrella of comedy you’d be cancelled, but because it’s serious it’s OK. Seems arse about tit to me. Just made me think that all the people who’d ever lived in this place were awful, awful cunts. Which slightly spoiled the fun kids Dodo trail.
We had more fun in the adventure playground where the kids played happily for well over an hour. I went on the squirrel trail with them, but was too scared to slide down a pole, displaying my cowardice to my usually brave children. It wasn’t that long a pole slide, but it was just high enough to make me not want to do it. My kids did it, but they had their mum below to catch them if they fell. If I’d done the same thing and fallen then the children could have been orphaned in one terrible moment.
Sure it was humiliating, but then we went on a fairy trail and my son was scared because I told him goblins would get him if he came off the path, so who is the real pathetic coward here?
No, it’s my son.
