It may be because I am slightly unwell, but I am starting to turn into a slightly grumpy old man (still there's work in that apparently). I was sitting in Caffe Nero today, writing Warming Up on my phone (who would have thought such a thing was possible twenty years ago? - only a lunatic) when I became distracted by a clip clopping sound being made somewhere in the room. It was annoying and incessant - clip clop, like a coconut horse, though perhaps a little hollower sounding. I shot an angyr glance around the cafe, but could not see where it was coming from. I tried to get back to writing, but Clip Clop, Clip Clop. I looked around again, more carefully so I could catch the culprit and give them a hard stare, and finally I narrowed the field down and worked out that it must be a small girl of about 8 years old who was sitting with her back to me. I couldn't work out how she was making the Clip Clop, as she was in the way, but she still carried on. It was really aggrivating me. I tried to catch her mother's eye and give her a withering look as if to say "Can't you control your clip clopping child? Have you no consideration for other people?", but the mother steadfastly avoided my gaze.
Finally I managed to see what was causing the annoynace: the girl had two empty take-away coffee cups and was banging them against the table upside down and that was how the horsey noise was being created. I was in grumpy enough a mood to consider going up to the table, grabbing the offending items, throwing them on the floor and stamping on them whilst shouting, "Take that you clip clopping child-bitch!", but decorum prevented me from such an action. If only other people had such a sense of social duty.
Only after they'd finally left and the cac-clip-clophony was over did I start to consider what a mean-spirited, short-tempered old Scrooge-like figure I was being. If a child can't get some pleasure from two empty cups without being in danger of being called a "child-bitch" by a stranger, then what kind of world are we living in? A world where Al Quaida have won, my friends, that is the kind of world.
But I was also being unreasonably irritated by the man at the next table who was smoking and whose smoke was invading my personal space and then by a friend of his who came and stood chatting to him, right behind me, a bit too close. Some times I wish I had the ability to create my own pupae or coccoon, but only very occasionally.
I think I was in a mean-spirited mood for the whole morning. Coming down to the hotel breakfast and seeing the pale and dull faces of the other guests, munching mournfully on their cereals and bacon had made me consider how ultimately worthless most human beings are and how a big bomb falling on this restaurant and destroying all those present (excepting myself - the world needs me) would not cause any great loss to the world. In fact at times like this you feel the destruction of all of humanity might not be a bad thing. It is hard to see anything sacred or spiritual in us when you are confronted by the grey faces of boring people eating their first meal of the day in their Marks and Spencers jumpers, having nothing to say to each other.
Luckily this misanthropic morning gave rise to a less mean-spirited afternoon and by the time I was due on stage at my re-jigged gig I was in better spirits. I had close to 200 people in and they seemed to like it in an afternoony kind of way.
It'd been a while since I'd done some of the stuff and it was a little hard to remember at times, but it wasn't too sloppy a rendition.
Then my final work commitment completed I went out into the early evening to begin my holiday by getting quite drunk for the first time for over a month. Alcohol seemed to temporarily cure my balance issues, but I am not sure that being constantly drunk would be the prescription of many doctors.
But anyway, that's it for the moment. Like I say I might carry on writing while I'm away, I might not. I might post it immediately or I might wait til I am back. But it is time to relax my fine friends and so I will take things as I find them and there's an end on it.
I won't be updating FitDay while I am away, though that does not mean I am letting go of the healthy eating. I just don't want to te myself down to computers while I am in Africa. It seems somehow wrong.
I am massively looking forward to going away now and whatever adventures or misadventures might come my way over the next fortnight I am glad to be striking out and doing something new.
Better go and pack now I suppose. Have a good October. I will think of you all every day....not! Ha ha. Not! Ha ha. I am saying I won't do that.
Bye!
