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Not to be outdone by 2014, 2015 has come out of the gates with its fists raised and its arse having out. What a shitcake of a day for humanity, free speech, comedy, satire and of course mostly those poor cartoonists and journalists and policemen involved. It’s hard to believe looking at the benign men who lost their lives or viewing their cartoons that anyone would think they deserved to be murdered, but we live in a complicated world and not all of us think the same.
The test (that I am pretty sure that humanity will fail, just as they have failed it before) is how we respond. There were some brilliant and immediate cartoon retorts (too soon - no, fuck you, satire and comedy was the perfect answer) and inspiring shows of solidarity, but also inevitable calls for retribution, for curbing of human rights and for widespread, almost obligatory reproduction of the cartoons. But whilst it’s understandable to not want the maniacs and fucking idiots who did this to win, we have to take care that we don’t do their job for them.
It’s important that we preserve free speech and that we’re not scared to make jokes or draw pictures because they will upset people (or even kill us), but nor do we want to enflame things and play into their hands. Or lose our freedoms. As an individual you can choose to share their cartoons if you wish - I did it on Twitter and am happy to do so again.
Here they are (look if you like, don't look if you think you might be offended) I think the one about the English joining Europe is the best one personally - but I am not sure insisting that they are published in all newspapers is the correct response. The whole point is that it’s a choice. And context is paramount.
As a comedian you have to consider if a joke that will be offensive is worth it, if it has value or is making a good enough point. Usually it’s is it worth having a couple of annoying hours on Twitter with people slagging you off, or getting an angry email or possibly being punched in the mouth at a gig? However stupid it is to murder someone over a cartoon (and believe me, it is stupid) when those Danish guys drew their Muhammed ones I wasn’t sure they were really good or clever enough or making enough of a point to justify what would inevitably follow. "They don’t want me to, so I am going to do it anyway." Was it making a point or just needlessly provocative? It’s a grey area at least. You have to make your own choice.
The cartoonists and staff of Charlie Hebdo clearly believed in what they were doing and from what I’ve seen their work has more point and focus than those original Danish cartoons and they seemed pretty game for giving a kicking to people on all sides and all religions (and the English too). I mean they were childish and provocative, but obviously I can't talk. There was more going on with them and they were defending important human rights. And their bravery in the face of genuine danger is remarkable. I don’t agree with everything they did or the way they said it, but their commitment is more than admirable, especially given the fact that they paid this price.
Now this has happened my natural response was to think - OK, so those murdering pricks are trying to stop free speech, so we must make sure they fail and make sure that as many people as possible see those images. But that plays into their hands too. More newspapers print the cartoons, igniting another load of riots and deaths or simply just upset lots of non-violent Muslims who don’t want to see that stuff and who are nothing to do with this. The greatest advocate of free speech would not say that it was important that the work of the Chapman brothers or hard core pornography was broadcast on kids’ TV - these things don't have to be banned, but they have thier place. So is it necessary to put the cartoons in the newspapers? Would you actually be upsetting the right people? Did the terrorists actually want that outcome? It's not necessarily cowardice. There are other ways to show solidarity.
I am not sure what I think. This blog is full of contradictions and has taken me all day to write even this much. All I know is it’s hard to play this in the right way so that the terrorists don’t on some level get what they want: causing dissent, restricting our freedoms, creating divisions. The only way the terrorists don’t win really is everyone else uses every incident of violence to come closer together and love each other more and forget about our differences. That we all give each other opened mouthed kisses like in that front cover cartoon. That we don't let anger and violence breed more anger and violence.
We must have the right to say whatever we want, but we perhaps also need the judgement and sensitivity to know the right time and place to say it. But as a comedian and a sometime satirist I did feel personally attacked by this act and I want to make a stand and I want to be allowed to be offensive when I think it’s worth it without fear of physical attack (though like the editor of that magazine I am aware- on a much lower level- that it’s a possibility and I accept it might happen). I have been provocative and rude, said things that I believe and that I don't believe in order to get people laughing and thinking. It’s vital that the magazine survives this attack and I am sure that it will.
It’s not the people who don’t take anything seriously who are the problem in this world. It’s the people who take things seriously. They are responsible for all the bad stuff. If we all took nothing seriously everything would be fine (possibly). And when you look at the things that people take seriously, you realise how fucked up this world is.
You know what, I just don't have any idea what the correct response is. Anyone who isn't bewildered by all of this and claims they know what is right and what is wrong is not thinking hard enough. It's going to get worse before it gets better. It might not get better.
So my bewildered and confused support is to be as flippant and disrespectful to the terrorists as possible and use this opportunity to draw my own cartoon of a major religious figure. I am not going to say which one it is and I am so bad an artist that it could literally be any godhead from history. Is that a turban on its head, or hair or some spaghetti? Are those arms or wings? Is it fat or just wearing flowing robes or does it have the body of a bird? I had a very clear idea of who I was drawing a cartoon of and did my best to capture them. It might not be who you think it is. It might be. But it’s definitely someone that millions of people were or are devoted to. So if you think it might be your God and you’re offended by this depiction of him/her or it and you think I shouldn’t have done it then do feel free to come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough. But remember it might be one of the other Gods who I have disrespected with a poor cartoon (statistically it is almost certainly one of the others, it's thousands to one that its yours), in which case you should be thanking me. Do you really want to hurt someone over a bad drawing that might be, but probably isn’t your God? You’d look like an idiot, right? But then again what if it is your God? Is it worth taking the chance? Only you can decide. But remember, you don’t want to look like a fool. Cos when you die your God (who knows which god it is) might say, "Why did you kill him for drawing that cartoon of that other god? He made them look like an idiot and then you killed him. You can't come into Heaven (or wherever you think it is that we end up) now. I am well pissed off about this. Next time check properly which god it is and only kill the people who have drawn me, because that's the only ones that I care about. It's just hurtful. If only there was something I could do about it myself. But I am kept busy enough without all the cartoons to deal with. I never said I was a brilliant God. Anyway, you're going to Hell (or wherever you think it is that you go when you're been bad) now."
I’d end by saying Je Suis Charlie, except I think that might add fuel to the flames of the whole Charley Boorman thing. I’m not Charley, Je suis Charlie.
A couple more additions to eBay, both pretty rare (don’t think there will be many, if any signed ones and doubt more than a dozen or copies of each are still around)
Playing Hide and Seek with Jesus Programme - That's definitely Jesus in that cartoon by the way, but it should be pretty clear that I didn't draw it. I can give you the name and address of the illustrator if you want.
