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My wife has an excellent stand up routine about rebranding dull activities to make them appealing to men. It’s based on Diet Coke being rebranded Coke Zero to appeal to idiot men, even though it’s essentially the same drink or nothing. She suggests that calling hoovering “Extreme Carpet Warfare” might be enough to convince males that they should be doing the housework. I had poo-pooed her blatant sexism. But today we were whizzing round John Lewis in our 60 free minutes, trying to get all the new stuff we needed for the house. We need a new vacuum cleaner, but I didn’t think we’d have time to look for one, but there was a man wearing a Dyson T shirt (who I assumed worked in the shop, but he might just be such a fan that he advises people in his spare time) who pointed us towards the "Dyson v7 Animal”, telling us there was £200 off, which meant we could a machine that was both a handheld vacuum and an upright almost as cheaply as a handheld vacuum. We didn’t have much time to think about it, but he convinced us in 60 seconds. I don’t think he told us that it was called the animal. But there is more than a whiff of coke zero about that, even if its ostensibly a nod to the fact that it’s good at getting up animal hair. And perhaps it would have made me feel like I was buying something that was manly enough for me (and I am very masculine as you are aware).
I was excited about it though, because although I am not a fan of vacuuming, I am a fan of gadgets. And the thing that I hadn’t appreciated in the shop was that the machine has a trigger to operate it, that makes it essentially a handgun (that can transform into a rifle). And as we’d been promise the suction was very powerful and it quickly took care of the dirt that has already been strewn through the house by the dog (i.e. by me, being now able to blame the dog - I seem to have lost the ability to effectively wipe my feet - and not just my feet, though that rarely impacts on the carpets). I have never actively wanted to do the vacuuming before. But now, thanks to a device with a macho name and an on/off button that makes me feel like I could be a sniper, I am actively seeking out and even creating mess so that I can clean it up. Ian Hoover would be delighted.
But most of all, it totally proves my wife right. She should get into naming brands. It turns out that men really are as stupid as she claims.
And the kickstarter campaign came to an end. 1493 backers raised £57,880, which gives us enough to make this year’s episodes, give the hard-working and poorly paid crew a rise and buy some new mics and a sound desk to make the whole thing even more appealing to audiophiles. We’ve very nearly got the book to the printers already, so all of you should get your books in time for Christmas. I am sure we will be selling them on gofasterstripe (and at podcasts) as soon as they are ready, but the kickstarter backers are the priority. Thanks for the continued support. I will keep doing this stuff as long as you keep wanting it. And then probably for a bit longer than that.
