5783/18803
No, don’t need a sleep, though still faded a bit by 5pm.
I did all right in the morning, but sadly my golden hour of mental fecundity came on my journey into London.
I got the bus into town and then walked up to the station to get to London.
Firstly I was amused to note that my single ticket into town had a warning in block capitals at the bottom, “DO NOT LAMINATE TICKET”
Whilst it’s pretty standard stand up territory to imagine commuters carrying laminating machines with them in their briefcases and getting to work on the bus, I am genuinely perplexed about why they are bothered enough about this.
There is not much other info on the ticket and certainly no other rules. Is ticket lamination really the main bus based problem in Hertfordshire? And is it necessary to put that on a single ticket, bought on the bus, which will never be shown to anyone, not even the driver who issued it?
Sure, maybe people buy season or weekly tickets on the bus (though I would assume not that often - that’s more something that you might do online or at a terminus) but why can’t they laminate their flimsy paper tickets? There’s no bar code on them do it can’t affect that and all that lamination would do is to protect this flimsy document and make sure it didn’t get lost or illegible after multiple use.
This is no longer a comedy routine. I want to know what the bus company have against lamination. They don’t seem to have as much of a problem with you hijacking the bus or riding on it naked or doing all the kinds of things that happen in jokes where it is later revealed you were on a bus. None of these things make the ticket. But the simple act of lamination? Why? WHY?
As I walked up to the station I had a couple of fizzing ideas for the secret sitcom that I thought were great (but they didn’t get written on the board so I was wrong). Also I saw a schoolboy with a mouth full of teeth. More than a mouth full. His teeth were way too big for his mouth. Not in a grotesque way - I actually quite like that goofy look. But it struck me, you see loads of goofy boys whose teeth are too big for their mouth, but you never seen any goofy men (not in the same way). The obvious reason is that once these boys grow up their mouths catch up with their teeth and everything is back in proportion. But what if it’s because the goofy boys are all bullied to death? It could be. I may start a charity for them. Not because I care particularly: I just want to see what a grown man with teeth like that would look like.
No offence to any goofers out there.
Also I spotted that the undertakers near the station had all the gravestones it was yet to use piled up outside the front of the shop. This seemed an inappropriate place to store them. It was a bit on the nose. But it also made me wonder if one of those grave stones might be destined to be my own. I was too scared to go and pick them up and look, lest they all had the names of their owners on them already in Twilight Zone twist and I found out my own death date.
After work I went to see Lou Sanders new show at the Soho Theatre. I have watched this mad woman develop personally and professionally over the last decade and although she is still as mad as a boy’s mouth full of teeth, she has managed to harness it to her advantage and this show is her best yet. It’s great to see her doing so well. It’s a long journey for stand-ups these days, but I think it is producing some fantastic acts as a result. Go and see her if you get the chance.
