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For a few reasons, Covid being the main one, but also because we do a separate Christmas at home, it’s been a while since my childhood family (my mum, dad, brother, sister and me) have been together). In fact I was surprised to find out today that my brother has never met Ernie, so it’s over 5 years since I’ve seen him. As I am prone to observe, life flies by fast.
Today we rectified that with a nice long lunch in Bristol, which included all the family (on our side) who are now called or were once called Herring and are still alive! My sister’s kids are off round the world so they couldn’t make it (but they have never been called Herring, so who cares about them) but my kids and my brother’s daughter and her partner and my brother’s wife and her son were there. Along of course with the two people who made most of us, my mum and dad. It was lovely to be reunited and the meal was incredible and everyone apart from me and my children drank a lot of champagne and so it was worth the six or seven hour round trip.
It was a bit of an adult meal (though luckily we’d brought some food for the kids just in case) but our children behaved pretty well throughout and Phoebe had dressed up in a puffy black party dress and had put on some make up and looked about 15. There were some heartfelt speeches about the joy of family and of love and how proud the grandparents were of us all. My mum and dad spoke and so did my brother and sister and I didn’t feel the need to add to them, but luckily I didn’t have to as without being asked Ernie jumped up on his chair and waving his arms around like an actor crossed with a Messiah started his own impromptu speech, slightly based on what he’d heard other people say, but with his own Ernie spin. “Uncle Duncan is not here,” he observed after my mum had said we missed Jill’s kids. Duncan is Catie’s brother and the net would have had to have been cast a little wider for him to be in attendance, but it was good that he was remembered, “But all the Herring family are here and we make a big teamwork together!” He threw his hands in the air. He had a captive audience and they were listening to him. He often tries to make pronouncements in playgrounds or wherever, but he usually gets ignored. But in this sentence he had summed up succinctly what all the adults had said much more verbosely. Everyone clapped and cheered. Ernie was very happy about this. “We do, darling!” agreed his Aunty Jill. Sometimes our kids can surprise us and even though Ernie is definitely a performer at heart I was surprised that he had the courage to do this and the wisdom to state it all so well. It reminded me of the funeral of Catie’s granny, when Catie had gone up to give her eulogy but emotion had overcome her and she found it difficult to talk and a not even one year old Phoebe tottered up to her, grabbing her own bottle of water, knowing that this would help her mum.
Ernie held out his arms and basked in the applause. He should have left it there. He was on top of the world. But like any comedian he wanted more. He pointed at an inflatable balloon in the shape of a champagne bottle, “Drink while you’re still alive!” He commented. Again a great and succinct bit of philosophy and a theme that many poets have attempted to write about (but never with this breath taking brevity). He made us think about our mortality, but also the importance of enjoying being alive. He led his own applause on this one. But everyone joined in. He was killing it. He wanted more. “We… should… not….” He didn’t seem to know where he was going with this, just hoping some great commandment would come to him, “Poo on the floor!” was perhaps the inevitable conclusion. Good advice, though maybe not quite as universal as his other sayings. That one was for him alone.
Last year he’d pooed on his grandparents patio to some consternation. But nice of him to pass on what he’d learned.
Sadly that’s the only bit of his speech that got filmed, because he carried on for as long as he could, at one point doing an impression of Grandad which was just him snoring, which didn’t seem very accurate and he also said "You should wear hats" which didn't test as well with the table. Sometimes he’d say something wonderfully poignant and sometimes something inappropriate or weird. There was a bit where he talked about Ernie dying in the war, but this was because I'd told him his great great Uncle Ernie had died in World War Two. It made us think about our past and the family sacrifices that had led to us living a less dangerous life.
But it all made his destiny feel very certain. My brother commented that he had been through this kind of thing before. I am not sure I was ever quite this confident, but then the years have beaten the confidence out of me, so who knows?
Ernie is right though. We make a big teamwork together. It was nice to be reminded of that today. And as much as my parents said they were proud of my siblings and I, we owe them so much and they are truly incredible people.
