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Friday 25th October 2024

Friday 25th October 2024

7991/20932
I am doing more Can I Have My Ball Back? shows in 2025. You can see if I am coming near you and buy tickets here. A few more gigs may be added. I really want to do a Birmingham date for example, so fingers crossed.
It felt strange adding the dates to my website. We're just over two months from 2025, but it seems absolutely impossible that that's next year. 2025 is a date in the future where we will have hoverboards, flying cars and most importantly realistic human sex robots that look like Gemma Chan, which everyone has agreed that it's not cheating if you have sex with them. Yet none of those things have happened.
Also it's only about two years since we were wrongly celebrating the new millennium as we saw in the year 2000. We can't be a quarter of the way through the century already. I mean I am really looking forward to seeing what life is like in 2100 but I didn't expect us to be plummeting towards it so quickly.
I think the decline of cheque books has made it harder for us to really appreciate the passing of the years. When do you ever write down what year it is now? NEVER. Don't argue with me. Also it's really ruined jokes around the format "I am still writing the wrong year on my" x.
On the plus side, I've now come up with this cryptic crossword clue, which would be tougher if we weren't talking about cheques.
They won't accept my hand-written way of paying for goods, we heard. It's confirmed (6,3)
On the poster for We're All Going To Die! the gravestone predicts my demise in some unreadable date in the 2020s. So not long to go whichever way you spin it.
I had a day off today for the first time in a while, but that just meant extra hard work as I battled to get the house into more order than it's been in. We've been here a month now and of course we still have a lot of stuff in boxes and my office space in particular looks like a bomb has hit it, but it feels like we've lived here forever. I went back to the old house today to do more Robinson Cruesoeing and to dump some polystyrene in the bin. With most of our stuff gone from the place and no kids shouting in the kitchen it doesn't feel like home. I wasn't sure if an empty house would be harder or easier to sell - people are free to imagine their own stuff in each space and there aren't toys and crud all over the floor, but it also feels dead and cold and empty. Plus there's a ghost of a horse and a baby in there (maybe I did see the horse on that stone clear where I saw a baby riding a horse). No one has been round to see it since the spring in any case. If you see me on I'm A Celebrity next year then you'll know it's because this gamble to move before selling has not paid off!
The right family will come eventually, but hopefully in 2025 and not in 2100.
Aside from financial disaster though, this has been the right decision for the family and when I don't think about it properly I am very happy!
I forgot to mention the very funny interview with Fred Macualay that came out on Wednesday. Listen here.


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