Journalism

Scotsman Questionnaire

SCOTSMAN INTERVIEWS

Richard Herring, 38. I live alone in ShepherdÂ’s Bush in London

• WHAT WAS YOUR NICKNAME WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?
Although you’d expect everyone to have called me Fish Face or Fishy Dick and the like (and there was a small amount of that kind of thing), my father TK Herring was the headmaster at the school I attended, so usually I was referred to as “TK junior”. It hasn’t scarred my life at all.

• IF YOU COULD ONLY HAVE ONE DESSERT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Given that my show this year is called “Someone Likes Yoghurt,” I imagine you would think I would say yoghurt. But actually the show is about the false accusations that have been made about my fondness for yoghurt. I don’t like yoghurt any more or any less than the average lactose tolerant person and anyone who tells you that I do and that they’ve seen me bathing in a bath full of yoghurt is lying. I like all desserts equally, but I’ve just randomly selected a pudding out of a bag of all puddings and coincidentally it is a yoghurt.

• WHO IS THE MOST INFLUENTIAL PERSON IN YOUR LIFE?
Rasputin. I have lived my life as close to his as humanly possible. Though I donÂ’t want to be the lover of the English Queen. Neither this one, or the next. Though I wouldnÂ’t mind having a crack at whoever William ends up with.

• WHAT DO YOU KEEP UNDER YOUR BED?
My favourite particles of dust
• DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
I sing wherever the fancy takes me.
• ARE YOU RELIGIOUS?
I am an evangelical atheist. I would like to destroy all world religions and start again. Or ideally put all religious people on an island and let them fight it out amongst themselves. I like Jesus and what he had to say, but have yet to meet a Christian who follows his advice in anything but the most perfunctory manner. Yeah, donÂ’t let people with AIDS in Africa use condoms. ThatÂ’s what God wants. Lots of AIDS babies.
• DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST DATE?
I remember the day I first held hands with my first girlfriend Sian. We were walking round Cheddar with my mates (including her brother) and gradually we loitered behind them. The relationship lasted two years and that was about as steamy as it got.

• IF I GAVE YOU AN ELEPHANT, WHERE WOULD YOU HIDE IT?
If you gave me an elephant I would display it proudly for the whole world to see. I am not ashamed of our relationship, nor should you be.