Journalism

Internet Questionnaire

1. What is your show all about?
It is about me having a mid-life crisis and trying to prove that I still have some youth and energy left in me by doing a modern day version of the 12 tasks of Hercules. Along the way I will discuss notions of what is heroic and whether we are in charge of our own destinies or merely playthings of the gods. My tasks include running a marathon, attempting to kill the Loch Ness Monster, trying to steal Germaine Greer's bra and dating 50 women in 50 nights.

2. Where and when can we see it?
It's at the Pod Deco 4 at 8.30pm every night except the 17th.

3. Do you love Edinburgh or is it a chore?
It is always hard work and in July I usually wonder why the Hell I'm putting myself through all this again. But I do love it which is why I keep coming back. I have always seen it as a place to experiment, which is why I write shows especially for the Fringe rather than coming up and doing a best of of what I've been doing for the last year. And it's such a great big party that it's difficult not to enjoy yourself.

4. what will you be doing with the other 23 hrs of the day?
Drinking alcohol and then sleeping. I may try and be more grown up this year and take in more shows and see some daylight, but I suspect it will be boozing til 6am and waking up at 6pm as usual.

5. What's the best thing you've ever seen on the fringe? I loved that show that Arthur Smith did in the park with a cast of thousands. I can't remember what it was called, but it was pure Fringe and brilliant entertainment. The sun was shining and it made me glad to be alive.

6. What's the worst thing you've seen?
Oh that's not fair. Nor is it the point. People must be allowed to come up and experiment and sometimes that will mean they get things wrong or that they have a year where they learn something (even if it is that they shouldn't be a performer). But I saw a show last year that was a big extravaganza with amazing props and effects and a crowd-pleasing concept that I thought was the worst written piece of rubbish I've ever seen. I'm not going to tell you what it was though.

7. What's the most curious thing that's happened to you in Edinburgh? I was once walking back to the Pleasance from the old Gilded Balloon quite late at night when I saw a couple having sex, quite openly, on a small stretch of grass by the road. They then both waved at me as I passed. And I waved back.

8. If you could persuade one VIP to come to your show who would it be? Why? To me everyone in the audience is a VIP. Apart from drunk blokes who don't know when to shut up. Or anyone who isn't really laughing that much. Actually I hate the public and only put up with their presence because without them I am just a bloke talking a lot in an empty room. And I have enough of that in my private life.

9. If the Edinburgh fairy could grant your wish, what would your wish for?
I'd wish for infinity wishes of course. Everyone knows that. Or if I could only have one I would wish that the Perrier Award would be banished from the Festival in perpetuity. I think it creates an unpleasant atmosphere of competition in something that shouldn't be a competition and gives lazy TV execs and punters a short cut way to see what are supposedly the best six acts, without having to do the leg work themselves and discover that there are at least forty other shows that are equally deserving of their attention. It also makes people miserable when they don't get nominated. If it must exist then I hope we see at least three women on the shortlist this time though. My tips would be Sarah Kendall, Lucy Porter and Natalie Haynes. But don't take my word for it. Go and see everyone.

10. What advice do you have for first time Edinburgh punters?
Take a few chances and don't just go and see the big names or the award nominees. It's worth sitting through something terrible for the times that you'll see something great and you may be able to brag about having seen the next big thing before they were famous. Listen to what other punters are raving about as well. And if you want to see the big names book your tickets well in advance.