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Wednesday 9th August 2006

I was still in my dressing gown at 6.45pm today. Given that I wasnÂ’t ill (in any recognised medical way) that is some kind of achievement. This is what Edinburgh is all about for me. I didnÂ’t see any shows, I didnÂ’t step outside of the house. I just lounged around on the sofa, trying to ensure that my dressing gown didnÂ’t inadvertently open up and give Lucy Porter a view of my testicles (yes I was ensuring that DIDNÂ’T happen, whatever she tells you), dicking around on the internet, having a short nap and basically doing nothing. I didnÂ’t make it to the gym and I only managed to get up to the Pleasance at about 7.15 to give out about 20 leaflets, before getting bored.
I had gone to bed at 5am and woken up at about 10, so was tired all day. I wasnÂ’t massively hungover, but just weary. My over-exercised legs felt heavy and I just wanted to lie on a couch. Part of me was wanting to go out and see some afternoon theatre or at least have a swim, but the lazy idiot me won this internal debate quite easily.
I got a good review in the List which stupidly made me feel vindicated and hopeful, but it clearly didnÂ’t make too much of an impact on the public consciousness because I only had about 70 people in tonight. I had expected yesterday to be the worst day for audiences, being the first non-two for one day, but the room looked pretty empty for the first time. It wasnÂ’t a bad show, but I think it was the least satisfying one so far. A man looked like he was falling asleep to my left near the end and I think I certainly lost a little bit of momentum after a bright start. I must have messed around a bit too much as I overran by 10 minutes, rather than the usual 5. This is unacceptable and only serves to make anyone who needs to get to another show get a little bit fidgety. And of course it is rude to the people who follow me. So I will have to make cuts which is going to be difficult.
Felt slightly down afterwards, but once again was brought back to a normal mental balance by chatting with other acts. I met Les Dennis who is a lovely man, who was laughing about the time he had come to see This Morning With Richard Not Judy in 1997 and I had said “Can you do your Mavis Riley for us?” and he said “No” and I said, “No, that’s right, you can’t can you?” I apologised to him for my cheek, but he had not minded at all. I remember him laughing at the time. He has also seen me completely naked, as he saw “Excavating Rita” that year, which he seemed to remember fondly (I think the play, rather than the nudity, but who knows, he had a twinkle in his eyes). I also had a great chat with the comic Jeff Innocent who had just received a four star review in the Scotsman and was touchingly delighted by it. He’d taken a risk by moving away from stand up to a themed show and seemed genuinely unable to believe that he had been picked out in this way. It sounds like a brilliant show and I am definitely going to try and catch it. You know if I can get out of the house before 7pm.

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