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Tuesday 22nd August 2006

I had hoped to go and see all the afternoon shows that I have been missing this week, but I am too tired and lazy. I managed a good swim yesterday, but today I could only manage to sit on my sofa, playing internet poker. I don't feel too bad about it. I have a lot of work piling up for September and I think it's not a bad idea to take it easy and have some pant based fun for this final few days. I have written nothing for the next recording of TWTTIN yet, but also have Banter to prep a little for and it looks like I will be rewriting my drama scripts as well. All this is good news and things seem to be shaping up nicely, but the show has to remain my priority for the next five days at least. Not only do the audiences deserve to see me at my best, but a lot of industry people come up for this part of the Fringe and if they see good shows then it can only help me get more work and maybe get invited to some of the other festivals around the world. Nothing is certain, but things are looking positive and though I was a bit tired in the show tonight and made a couple of mistakes, it still went OK. Though it's not selling out I have kept up steady numbers (around 120 tonight, which is acceptable) and I am still finding new bits and improving the show. It's a bit like pushing back a wall to discover a new room in a house, or maybe finding a new chamber in a pyramid. Sometimes it's full of gold, sometimes it's just full of dirt and rubbish. But it's still quite exciting to find anything new at all.
These lazy days don't make for great blogging though. The most exciting thing that happened today was arriving at the Forth Radio studio in the Underbelly to discover I didn't have my wallet. I couldn't work out if I had left it at home, or possibly it had fallen out of my pocket when I had bought a coffee on my walk up there. I thus spent an hour worrying about that as I chatted with old pals Miranda Hart and Will Smith and was forced to get a cab home before my show to check. I couldn't find it and my heart was sinking as I thought about all the cards I would have to cancle and all that shit, but then I remembered I'd been wearing my shorts when lounging round and sure enough there was the wallet. The forgetfulness is of course all part of the fatigue.
But that's not the most interesting of stories is it? No it isn't. It's a story about a wallet not being lost. You demand more than that.
How about this?
I was going to a party after the show, but decided I wanted a little oasis of me time, so went for a pizza alone. This time I didn't bump into any comedians playing Ker-plunk or Mousetrap or Simon and just did my medium sudoku (without writing any numbers in), felt weary and considered going home. I was in Pizza Express where it is acceptable to eat alone, but still a little self conscious that I might look like a tragic figure. So I decided to compound this image by paying for my dinner with the coins I had in my bag from the SCOPE collection. I wasn't stealing. I tend to change the pounds and fifty ps up at the bar after the show, to avoid having to carry a big bag of change (and I keep a running total of the money and make sure it all goes to the charity - I am no Arthur Fowler). But I still have loads of tiny bits of shrapnel and there is a massive pile of coins in my bedroom waiting to be paid in. So when I got my bill I figured I could probably cover it with what was in my bag and painstakingly counted it out and gave the waitress a dish filled with coppers and small denomination silver coins (noting down how much I had spent). I expect they loved me, but I didn't hang around to see. Just enjoying the fact that I must have looked very eccentric settling a bill in this unusual manner. What kind of man has fifteen pounds of loose change about his person? A lunatic that's who. A lunatic who eats his dinner alone at 11pm and does the sudoku. It doesn't look good for me does it?
But saints are often mistaken for lunatics. But not as often as lunatics are correctly identified as lunatics.
If I had worked at Pizza Express I would have guessed that the only explanation for this was that I was a tramp who was perhaps having a special day out (well in really) to celebrate his birthday. "No booze and drugs for me on this special day - I am having a Venezia pizza and I'm not even going to ask for my discretionary donation to the Venice in Peril fund to be taken back!"

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